It’s been a while since I’ve posted on Proverbs. It’s just. so. intimidating. But nonetheless, I’m working through this scripture meditating on each verse as I go.
As I study this I’m learning so much and being convicted in my own life as well…
Duh duh DUUUHHHHH (as my 6 year old son says to bring emphasis to certain situations.)
Today we are going to look at Proverbs 31:11-12
“The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.”
In the Hebrew “heart” means their “inner part, their soul, their mind and conscience.” It’s more than a word describing an organ that pumps blood to the body, it’s the essence of who a person is. The part of a person that thinks, feels, reasons, and worries. “Trust” means “to have confidence in, to be secure” but it also means to “feel safe, and careless”.
Say Whaat?! His inner being trusts her so much that he is without care! When it comes to trusting his wife this man has full confidence that she can totally handle what is entrusted to her so much so that he doesn’t have to worry if she will act foolishly with finances, the care of the home or in the way that she conducts herself in private or public.
Since the second part of the verse, “and he will have no lack of gain” is connected with the first, it seems that the result her trustworthiness is linked to gains in his life.
I thought it was interesting that the word “gain” in the Hebrew means “spoil, possessions, and booty”. Usually those words describe what happens when you go to war and conquer a nation, village, or group of people. The conquerer gets to take the possessions or spoils of victory from those who were taken over.
While I was doing this study I was compelled to bust into my husband’s office and ask him if he trusted me. I was so intrigued about the level of trust this scripture was talking about that I was convicted, not guilted into making sure I was a trustworthy partner. My husband chuckled (mainly because he is used to my dramatics) and honestly said that does trust me now more than before in the area of finances.
I thought about what happens if there is no trust between people with something like finances. Not only is the money being spent unwisely, but there is no opportunity for increase or gains in this area. I’ll be honest, I would overspend in certain areas before. Mainly because we didn’t have a system that I could understand or fit my “financial style” (see Dave Ramsey). When we got super serious and created a budget and a system I could maintain, we started to see a change in our finances. I started to see months where we were able to make fiduciary gains i.e. pay of some debt since I was the one primarily making purchases for our family.
In case you were wondering, yes, I was looking for a chance to use the word “fiduciary”.
But I digress…
Now I’ll be honest, when I read scripture my post feminist self was like “what about the man doing the woman good all the days of HER life? What about the wife being able to trust her husband so SHE will have no lack of gain?”
But I would NEVER say that out loud…
Not at all…
But seriously, after some thought I realized that this verse is alluding to the fact that women have a great deal of influence. The trustworthiness of this woman has a direct effect on her husband’s gain. And we all know that in the grand scheme of things when your husband wins, you and your family win too. Therefore if she is not trustworthy, there will certainly be losses for her husband and in essence, the entire family. A trust worthy woman is a powerful woman who can influence the gains of her family. Now before we get all “I am woman hear me roar” on our men let’s move on to verse 12.
“She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.”
The word “good” in this sense means SO MUCH stuff in the Hebrew! She is “pleasant to the senses, to the higher nature, understanding of man’s (human’s) intellectual nature, appropriate, becoming, kind, ethical, prosperous and moral.” Therefore verse 12 tempers verse 11 in that even though we have a huge part to play in the gains of our family whether social, financial, etc., we don’t want to be tempted to treat our husbands in an evil way causing him harm, distress, or being hurtful. All the days of her life is a long time. It’s not something that we can do in our own strength because during our lifetime, there will absolutely be days when we don’t feel like being anything like the Proverbs 31 woman. In fact, we may even want to strangle her.
I know that I have to ask the Holy Spirit to help me daily to die to myself and allow Him to grow these characteristics in me. Because if we can influence our family in a positive way we can definitely influence our family in a negative way and lose out on many gains. It made me think of this scripture from Proverbs:
God has given us women, mothers and wives a lot of power and influence in our homes. It may not look the way we want to all the time but we have it. Our actions, attitudes, and thoughts can truly effect the increase or decrease of our families. When we do good to our husbands and become trustworthy women we are actually blessing ourselves and our households in the long run. Sometimes the world can cause us to think that because we are biblically asked to direct these godly characteristics towards our husbands that we are some how “less than” or falling into pre feminism thought. But I disagree. God created a beautiful and awesome and powerful place for women in the family structure. I see that now after studying these verses some more. Our bosses, jobs or clients actually encourage us to treat them with these very characteristics for gain in their own companies or projects. How much more should we ask the Holy Spirit to help us direct and develop these characteristics towards our husbands and families?
I want to sincerely thank you for stopping by The Inspire(d) Cafe and spending time with me. It truly means a lot.
Hey what did you think about this? Any thoughts?